It's just that...

everything I try to do, nothing seems to turn out right.

A test administered by no one at all,
and I failed.

I just wish that I didn't feel the things I do so strongly. I wish that there weren't all of these unspoken guidelines. I wish that I could be pretty. I wish that my best friend loved me the way I love him. I wish I had someone I could talk to about these things. I wish Ian would come back home. I wish I wasn't crazy. I wish I knew how to handle liking someone so much, but it's never happened before. I wish that you still cared enough to visit me at ungodly hours. Was I so different then? I wish I could start over.

I would have done it all differently, you know.