Flood

I've been in my bed all day, so I had no idea that the entire state of RI is under water.

Look at the little puppy being evacuated! Someone should float him to me. He's so CUTE. Hopefully all the worms have drowned. That's what you get for trying to torment me, you sick fucks.

My basement is currently a river. It's disgusting and swampy. On the bright side, RIC has canceled all classes after 1PM. I secretly want to be pulled out of my house in an inflatable boat. Is that weird?

I need to stop procrastinating.

I had a dream that I got stuck in the ocean, and then I swam to an island. And rode on the back of a hippo. Who then tried to eat me. I distinctly remember saying "HOLD ON! I have to take a picture of you trying to eat me so Jared can see because he is SO not going to believe I rode a hippo!"

Fin.

Snapshot Sunday

At midnight, I convinced Jared it was a brilliant idea to come over and make waffles & home fries. This is him holding a spoony thing while babysitting the potatoes.


Pictured above are Jared's delicious home fries with 3 eggos, since my waffles came out with a flavor reminiscent of cardboard soaked in cinnamon-laced sewage.


Here we have Jared insisting that all things must end up in sandwich form (why he used the aforementioned abomination as a vehicle for otherwise scrumptious items is beyond me).


"Nomnomnom."


Then we cuddled and fell asleep. All I remember is murmuring something like "ALL I WANT TO DO IS WAKE UP NEXT TO YOU AND SAY HI AND LOVE YOU!"


At approximately 5AM, I heard my mother showering for work. And had a heart attack, because my father would have killed the entire world if he realized Jared "slept over," even though we're married and 80 years old. So bleary-eyed and miserable, I was forced to sneak Jared out and release him into the wild. I'm still not sure why it would be perfectly fine for him to be in my bed at 3, but not at 5. It's like the rising sun makes any form of contact forbidden.


At 4, I went to work. And made this Lost & Found box, which does not fit in the cupboard horizontally, so my life essentially has no purpose.


Raspberry lemonade & losing scratch tickets on break.


I got home at 8:30, where I was greeted by these atrocious boots. They're a "gift" from Mother Dearest, who is determined to make me go to class in spite of 90 inches of rain (worms).


Then I turned around and saw these, which my brother (brimming with excitement) offered me. WHAT KIND OF SICK JOKE IS THIS LIFE?!

Kill me now, kill me now, kill me now...I am dead.
^ This is my new theme song. Terribly poetic, no?

AntiSinecurist: I can't remember you being like this about a guy, like, ever.

Obviously.


In other news, I have no friends. I really really REALLY wanted to make waffles & home fries tonight, but then I'll have nothing to put in my Snapshot Sunday post tomorrow.

Also, I won $10. But spent $11. So, not really, then.

Meep.

Snapshot Sunday

Saturday became Sunday at Jared's. Where there was: a fire, a soulful cover of "I'm on a Boat," revolting bratwurst, cheap lemon vodka, and 90 trips to the bathroom.


I got home at 4 in the morning, which resulted in oversleeping and eating ghetto honeycombs while speeding to work.


Baby naming contests on break, with a lettuce sandwich.


Then I came home and ate this pitiful dinner, because pork chops are gross.


Now I'm staring at this wall and dreading tomorrow.


And also wondering why there is a ladder in my room.

It's a quarter after 2...

This post is going to be super creepy. But I think I'm beyond that, since I'm certain I've creeped you out 1000x more in the past. I love every minute you're around, even if we only ever say "Hiiiiiiii" five million times. I constantly worry that we're going to run out of things to say to each other (or that we already have), and that you're going to realize you don't actually want me around anymore. I honestly cannot picture myself with anyone else. And that terrifies me.

In conclusion, you're really, really cute.


And if you could maybe make this face in front of my eyeballs at all times, I would greatly appreciate it.

The end.

Whale

I want this painting in the worst way.

Why must it be $75?



Meep meep.

Vermont