Saturday, May 23, 2009

A gift

It's made of leaves. And it's beautiful. Exactly as you are.
I will not forget these past few days.

Thank you.

Tuesday, May 12, 2009


I hate my room.
I hate it.
I hate it.
I hate it.
I hate it.

It is red.
And the paint bleeds
onto the molding.
The corners do not meet
as they should
and there is hair

I am going to scream.

Saturday, May 2, 2009


I have been listening to this song all week- over and over and over again.

Last night, I was driving home from Mansfield. It was an awful night, and I was toying with the idea of driving into the nearest guardrail at 95mph. As I passed the exit for the Comcast Center, I thought of the Coldplay concert in August and wished I had bought tickets. And then I started thinking of Army Man. He messaged me today out of nowhere, and I was pretending he was in the car with me- something I'm in the habit of doing. I had the most beautiful conversation with him in my head.

I felt like I was going to implode at any moment. There were tears, and I was certain the saline would swallow me whole. I changed the radio station out of boredom. A lady with a raspy voice informed me that Seal and Hedi Klum were playing matchmaker. A song started. "This sounds so familiar," I thought, "but what is it?" And then it registered- it was "Yellow." I was laughing and sobbing and singing. They don't play this song on the Top 40 station. But they did. I stared at the open road ahead of me, realizing exactly how much I love you. I told you that nothing made sense.

I was wrong.