Monday, January 17, 2011

Last night

We tend to live in the small world we've created for ourselves. I think it's just what happens in relationships, and that's OK. But last night I saw your eyes light up as you told stories about people and places from the past. I felt like I did when we first met--you were so cute and interesting and funny (not that I don't always think so). I'm glad it happened, and I'm glad we both realized it happened. I think it's something we needed to uncover. I know I sometimes feel like I've lost myself, so I can only imagine how you must feel. There is so much we haven't experienced together. We're in the habit of staying in and staring at each other in bed (which isn't a bad thing, of course), but there's so much I want to do and see with you. It's like...somewhere along the line we both got the idea that we had to morph into this weird robot with 5 settings in order to please the other (I think more so on your end), but that really isn't the case. I hope you don't think it is. I don't think we'll ever stop meep mopping around, but I do think it would be beneficial to step outside of that comfort zone and get to know the other beyond "us." I think that's what I mean when I say "But Jared, I don't even know you!"

Besides, that's the version of you I first fell in love with.

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