I know I'm young, and that I have much to look forward to. I know that things will get better. I know that people get better. I know that people move on. I know that happiness is possible.
These are the things I tell myself when I look in the mirror and blink back tears, trying to remember who I am underneath all of this. These things don't seem very true right now. I wish they did.
You weren't just my boyfriend--you were and are my favorite friend. My favorite person to adventure with, to talk to, to contemplate with, to just hang out with. I loved listening to your ideas, your knowledge, your stories. Even if we can't be together, it kills me to think about you not being a part of my life. It kills me to have you not respond to me, knowing that I'm dying over here, knowing that you were always the first person to care about me and comfort me, knowing that you're capable of just ridding me from your life.
I look at everything and see you. I'm dreading the drive home from school today, because I know it will take everything in me not to drive by. I know it will take everything in me to not break down, to not want to drive my car into the nearest tree, to not knock at your door and say "please talk to me."
I know there are pieces of me in you, in your head, in your apartment. Do you not think about me when you're face to face with them?
It just kills me.